Made to stick - Review

  Not many books make you think, “Made to stick” made me think. It is as if the ideas in the book were pre dipped in super glue. As I read, they seamlessly attached themselves to my mind. The book is all about exploring the super glue that can stick our ideas in the fast moving world.

 Chip Heath and Dan Heath have put together a series of ideas to make your ideas stick. Of course this is not a get rich quickly, or success by thinking positive kind of book.

 What are the reasons behind good recall value of urban legends?  Can the reasons be used in real time to solve communication problems? According to the authors there are six things that constitute an idea that will stick. For instance all the urban legends would have at least satisfied four out of six components. Therefore the argument is, these components if used well can improve our communication.

For the authors, a sticky idea is that has at least few of the components from their formula of SUCCESS.

  S- Simple

  U-Unexpected

  C- Concrete

  C- Credible

  E- Emotional

  S-Stories

None of the components of their formula are new, and yet it needs a well written reminder to wake us out of abstract conversations. When a concept is abstract, it goes over our head.

A lot of parallel can be drawn to the “Competent Communicator” manual of Toastmasters International. Though they have never explicitly mentioned about the components to make ideas stick, the references are undeniable.

 For example, every Toastmasters Project encourages Simple themes and sentence constructions than roundabout and lengthy constructions. Surprise (Unexpected) is a component used to catch the attention of the audience, especially in the introduction of a speech. The term ‘vivid imagery’ is frequently used  which is equivalent to the Concrete word usage recommended by the book. Including Stories in your speech, especially stories with strong Emotion is one of the frequent evaluation points I received for my projects. I just did not know how to use them?

For me to use them, I had to know some well executed examples. I had to understand the patterns of ideas that are still making waves. I had to learn specific ways to include the components of SUCCESS in my life. The ideas had to be reiterated without boring anyone. All that is what “Made to stick” does. The book drives home the importance of each component of their SUCCESS formula by using the same formula to explain each component. Filled with fascinating researches, and deep insights, it is entertaining apart from the value add, just like a good Toastmasters speech.

So why read “Made to stick” if you already have the CC Manual from Toastmasters International? Because, this book is about creating simple concrete credible emotional stories with unexpected twist. Don’t you want to create such stories?

Here is the link to a mindmap of this book if you aren't patient enough to read the entire book. But this mind map is just an ordinary glue, you ought to read the entire book to know what is super glue. 

 http://drbakker.nl/made-to-stick-summary-mindmap/

Non Verbal cues are not important

   Last week, one of my friends at Chennai Speakers Forum Toastmasters presented her speech. I liked the confidence, the free flow of ideas, and the statistical tidbits of her speech.While she expounded on the various aspects on presenting an ‘Effective Presentation’, I was wondering about the numbers in her speech. 

           Your words 7%

               Your tone of voice 38%

               Your body language 55%

   She quoted researches confirming a popular phenomenon. Research says that for any speech or conversation or discussion, the meaning of the message is carried more by voice and body language than by the actual spoken words.

  For anyone who has been part of any communication group, this is not a news. That your body language and vocal variety is much more important than the content of your speech is an often repeated mantra. All along I had no qualms, but when presented in terms of numbers, it looked almost unbelievable, I wondered why words carried only 7% while we spend more than 70 % of the time writing those words for the speech. Is that even possible?

  How can someone explain such disparity? Though I agree that I’m much more impressed by Obama’s enthusiastic animated speech than Manmohan Singh’s dull recitation, I had difficulty in agreeing to the sheer insignificance assigned to words in a speech. The content may not be the king when it comes to a speech, but it is no worse than the soldier who faces the enemies up front with courage. 

  What was this research that gave such accurate numbers? How did they measure this? Thanks to the internet, my research was not as cumbersome as the research under question.

 Who did this research? Albert Mehrabian came up with this research in the late ‘60s, but there are few important points to note before confirming the direct implication of his research to a speech. Through a trail of search, I finally ended up at this site.

--Start of Excerpt^*--

The studies

Mehrabian and his colleagues were seeking to understand the relative impact of facial expressions and spoken words.

Study 1

In Mehrabian and Wiener, (1967), subjects listened to nine recorded words, three conveying liking (honey, dear and thanks), three conveying neutrality (maybe, really and oh) and three conveying disliking (don’t, brute and terrible).

The words were spoken with different tonalities and subjects were asked to guess the emotions behind the words as spoken. The experiment finding was that tone carried more meaning than the individual words themselves.

Study 2

In Mehrabian and Ferris (1967), subjects were asked to listen to a recording of a female saying the single word 'maybe' in three tones of voice to convey liking, neutrality and disliking.

The subjects were then shown photos of female faces with the same three emotions and were asked to guess the emotions in the recorded voices, the photos and both in combination.

The photos got more accurate responses than the voice, by a ratio of 3:2.

They cautiously note:

These findings regarding the relative contribution of the tonal component of a verbal message can be safely extended only to communication situations in which no additional information about the communicator-addressee relationship is available.

--End of Excerpt--

 Let us analyse his experiments with a speech in mind?

1) Mehrabian arrived at the ratio 7:38:55 through two independent experiments.
2) Mehrabian used only words, not a speech, not even a complete sentence for conducting this experiment.

  Can combing results of two complex experiments on human behavior sufficient to arrive at such a conclusion? Mehrabian’s disclaimers are proof enough to confirm that we cannot draw an accurate parallel from his research to any meaningful discussion between two human beings. If that is not enough, the research was done only using words, not complete meaningful sentences. 

   His research was probably tweaked by innovative coaches from speech training companies with honorable intentions; to stress the importance of voice and body language in speech. Or is it a clever marketing strategy to lure potential client to their company? With time more people accepted the misinterpretation of his theory? Why? Because any surprising statistic or fact tend to have high impact and better recall value. It has almost become the opening line of many presentation trainings, and as more people joined the bandwagon of 7:38:55, the misintrepreted theory has developed a credibility that will be very hard to break.  

   Of course, there is no denying the importance of voice and body language in any communication situation. They are as important as the words. But for a complete speech, a ratio of 33:33:34 makes much more sense than Mehrabian’s 7:38:55. Words cannot stand alone all the time, Mehrabian's research in itself is a perfect testimony to this fact.

  All this reminds of a Siddhuism, “Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.”After all Obama owes as much as to his catch phrase “Yes we can” to all the emotions he showed while making that historic speech. The title may be slightly misleading, but I know you wouldn't read if not for such controversial title. It is not too far away from the central idea of this article ; Non verbal cues are not as important as you thought them to be.

^*Excerpt on Mehrabian’s study: http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/body_language/mehrabian.htm

Think before you buy; you’ll thank me later

That's not my shopping bag!

  Have you ever thought about useless things filling up useful spaces in our homes? I’ve bought so many things, that I never use after painfully paying for it. I have a shoe that I’m ashamed of showing others, I have a t-shirt that only Salman Khan can carry it off, I have a water bottle that cost me more than a meal at Pasta Bar Venito. I’m sure every one of us is guilty of that splurge, the urge to spend on things that we don’t actually want. Here me out, you’ll thank me later.

  We shop when we are happy. We shop when we are depressed. Often, we end up buying a pair of shoe while our intention was to help a friend to buy a pair of sock.  That’s how I bought that shameful shoe. Shopping is fun. Fun things do not last, but they are very addictive. And fun does not mean happiness. Fun is momentary, but happiness is more lasting. If something is fun long after it happened, then it is definitely happiness. Is it fun to think about the time when you bought that shoe that you never use? No it is not; shopping does not make you happy. Shopping does not take you out of depression.  May be, put you in a deeper well of depression when you stare at your bank balance. Shopping is not an antidote for depression. You keep filling space in your house, and you keep adding guilt in your heart. It is a vicious circle, you buy things for instant joy, and then lose mind every instant over that.

   Now the innovations and improvement in technology has made it even worse. You don’t even have to step out of your room to buy a room full of nonsense. You open that slick site, click on those bright buttons, make payment, and viola you have it delivered the very next day. What do you do after the delivery? You open that package, and let that object catch cobwebs. Television, billboards, salesmen and everything around us are pitching their product every second.We are bombarded with information all around us. Aishwary Rai says ‘L’Oreal ,Because we are worth it?’  And another beautiful lady insists that, ‘It is not a car. It’s a caaar?’ A red bull promises wings. And another billboard screams “Galayx S3.Designed for humans?” What does that even mean?  Well, that means you are a goat, and a scapegoat at that. You are going to buy things you don’t want and you are going pay with money that you don’t have.

 We are all rational people, how do we end up falling for such traps. How can we put an end to this? What can we do to stop this carnage from sweeping our bank balance?  What is the one question that can change all this?  Don’t you want to know how you can stop spending money on things you don’t want? It is all about dealing with a devil called Instant gratification. Let’s call him I.G. What we need is a D.I.G , Disintegration of Instant Gratification.

 Just one question before you make that decision to swipe your card. “Can I live without this product  for now?  Is it the best my hard earned money can buy me? ” That solves it. It might seem simple, but how many of us ask such a sane question on your trip to shopping mall? Your answer to that question makes the decision for you. You may not be happy to make that hard decision. But you’ll thank me later.

  Remember there is nothing called as free lunch. There is nothing called as discounts.  You are entering a dangerous zone when you see that brightly lit red discount banner. Just like a fly, you die sooner when you fly around the light. That red banner is your light.  When you have a buying decision to make, remember the fly falling down, cramped and burned by the heat of the light. You’ll thank me later.

  Another handy strategy is to avoid carrying credit cards in your wallet. Handy because, you make yourself handicapped in front of the absurd marketing campaigns. You might think that Credit cards give you freedom, of course, that is exactly what the banks want you to think.You don’t want to pay 33% interest on late payment of thing you don’t want. Remember the number thirty three when you have to make that buying decision. You’ll thank me later.

  I’m not asking you to stop enjoying your life. I’m not asking you to stop buying what you need, I’m not asking you to stop buying what you like.  I’m asking you to start smart shopping. I'm asking you to not let the world decide what YOU want. All I’m asking is to think before you buy. Let’s vouch together to buy all the things we want, but only things what we really want. You’ll be at peace. You’ll be debt free. And you’ll thank me later.

Toastmaster Project 5: Body Speaks - What happens in a mall ?

Have you been to a mall recently? Did you notice that there are far fewer places to park yourself than to park your car? Yes, places to sit in the common areas of malls are so hard to find. After all, people are not shopping when they're sitting. So they make us walk around like a rat in a lab experiment. Malls are so manipulative.

Talking about parking in a mall, the underground parking lots are more like the locations of climax scene of an action movie. You park your vehicle, and then enter the mall. Once you enter the mall, you’ll probably see the mall map. An average mall customer spends 29 seconds looking at a mall map, and often leaves the map baffled. Haven't you done that? If not, you are not an average customer. By the way, that statistic was a made up one.

Now come to the floor plan of a mall, though the floors are fitted with marbles and tiles, they are convoluted like a tied up python. That's for a reason, -‘the shoppers can't make a quick exit with such an elaborate design. They’ll end up buying something or the other somewhere.’ Malls are not only manipulative, they are mean as well. Once, I lost my way in such a mall and I had to pay double the charge of petrol as parking price. I decided, no more malls, and no more evil expenses. I came back the next weekend, this time on a friend’s bike.

Now that we have seen the map, let’s walk around the mall. You can see high ceilings, colourful lightnings, bright boards, and finally you can’t miss the handsome and beautiful models sticking their neck out from the walls of the mall. If you walk around a mall, you may not find a place to sit, but you are bound to find an escalator that takes you up and down. What’s so special about escalators? They are placed strategically to force shoppers to pass the maximum number of storefronts. For this reason, I keep my eyes closed when I'm on an escalator in a mall. They can’t make me buy a thing without my willingness. I urge you to do the same.

Men are more interested in people watching at malls, whereas women are more interested in shopping at malls. Men like window shopping and corridor watching, not very expensive, whereas women like to shop inside the windows, and stay away from corridors. To sum it up, men go to malls for watching, and women go to malls for shopping, at times for consumer goods, and at times for new girlfriends or boyfriends. After all, the malls are places where you can shop for anything.

But what’s the one thing that you can’t buy in a mall? The other day, I went to a mall with my town grown uncle, he straightaway went inside a big shop and said,”I’ll take this for 800,” the shop manager smiled and pulled out the tag, “It’s 1500 sir, ” My uncle replied, “I know how to read, I asked it for 800” The manager calmly rolled the shirt and said, “Sorry sir, we don’t bargain here.” My uncle walked out of the shop furiously, he couldn't bargain with shopkeeper, but he was barking at me. We Indian’s are fond of bargaining, so fond that we don’t mind paying a higher price as long as they allow us to bargain. We miss that satisfaction of getting our own price. How I wish someone would allow me to bargain in a mall. Just for the fun of it.

Some of us may like it, and some of us may not like it, we cannot avoid going to malls. I like the feeling of being in the mall, but buying, I might as well go somewhere else. Things might be different in the times to come. In future, you may have to go to a mall even for groceries. The mean , manipulative and massive malls are here to stay.

See you at the mall...

Living without food, about milk and my favourite hotel in Chennai

A few lines on the table topics from CSF's 4th meeting. Thanks to Priyanandhan for the wonderful topics. Pretty interesting how thoughts can flow when you have a laptop instead of thirty eager faces in front of you.

How to live without food?

First of all, before going on to find how to live without food, I must ask myself a simple question. What does food mean to me? Food means everything to me. If not the best, it is the second best after sleep. If there is someone looking for a way to live without food, like our TT master, then he must be insane, a beggar, or might have once stranded in an island with no trees. I’m so fond of food that I might put an end to the evolution of possible insects in that island. There is no way to live without food, at least to me.

Best way to Preserve milk is to leave it out with the cow!

Milk is something that I have been drinking from the time I didn’t have a name. So , this particular habit of mine is probably older than my name. I remember my school days when I started the day with a glass of milk in a tall tumbler. I made a big fuss to drink milk, and one day I managed to go to school without drinking milk. The same day, I got good beating from my biology teacher. I told my mom about this, and she, the clever lady she is, managed to convince me that not drinking milk and beatings were somehow related. I have been drinking milk ever since, but may be it would have been better if it was left with the cow. I would’t have to drink it all my life.

My favourite hotel in Chennai

Strictly speaking, I don’t believe in having favourites. As long as the food is good, the hotel is worth visiting again. Moreover, I let the other person pay the bill. They know it, and therefore I don’t get to choose the hotel. It is fine with me, as long as the food is good, and the bill is not filled in my name. What am I coming to say? My favourite hotel in Chennai is where someone else foots my bill.