How to make others feel more valuable in any situation?

What do you gain by making others feel more valuable, after all we live for ourselves and not for others. We live in a world where favors are constantly exchanged, and if you want to get things done, you need to value others. Even a small act of persuasion becomes much more powerful when you value the people you are persuading.

 The moot point in making others feel more valuable is to help them feel better by allowing their self-esteem to scale high.  Making others valuable is making them feel better about themselves.

Here is the list of three things to make others feel more valuable at work and at social situations.

 Acknowledge the person

     Acknowledge the person by accepting the person in your own little group. Make it clear that the person is part of an exclusive group. In general take effort to ease out any friction by making them feel welcome. Three things that can help us to make a person welcome are,

Smile at them; look directly at them with warm eyes.

Pay attention when they speak, and spend time to answer their questions clearly.

Most importantly do not interrupt when they speak.

When others feel that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, their self-esteem goes up.This makes the individual feel valuable and important.  People know when you are genuinely attentive, and when you are, this makes them to want to support you in things you believe in. But remember there is no substitute for showing genuine attention and care, you can’t run that fake attention face for long.

 Appreciate genuinely

  What is the simplest way to express appreciation? A simple and sincere thank you would do the job most of the time. You can thank people for anything, in fact, thanking for minor acts actually makes people feel even better. 

  When you appreciate small things, you come across as observant and caring. People know that even their tiny acts to help your cause would be appreciated, and they would be more than willing to give you a hand in moving up. Because they know that they will move up along with you. Of course you can’t keep this up if you appreciate for the sake of appreciation, being genuine is the way to move forward.

    Appreciate small things sincerely

    Effective appreciation is both immediate and specific

    

  When we thank someone, it in turn encourages that person to repeat the behavior and to make better contributions next time. It raises their self-esteem and increases your likeability in their eyes. A simple thank you is powerful tool in building your likeability and ensuring that other cooperate with you and support what you believe in.

  An effective appreciation is both immediate and specific.  Instead of “Thank you”, tell them “Thank you for volunteering.” , and make your appreciation immediate to have that lasting effect.

Agree even when you disagree:

    The toughest part of making others valuable is to agree with them on everything even if you don’t agree. Appalling? Why would one agree when you actually disagree? Yes you can be agreeable even if you disagree with someone’s point of view.  To keep the ever menacing ego out of the picture, keep in mind that you are against the point of view of the person and not against the person in view.

  When you don’t agree with a point proposed by someone, 

first thing to remember is to remain calm and not to disagree straightaway.  Disagreeing straightway is like challenging him for a duel of angry outburst or dreadful silence that can leave sour taste at the end of it.  Disagreeing makes the person defensive, and reduces the chances of reaching a consensus. We don’t want that.

  The famous motivational speaker Brian Tracy explains an excellent technique called Third-Party Disagreement to disagree without disagreeing.

 If you must disagree, Instead of saying, ‘‘I disagree with you,’’ you can say, ‘‘ That is an interesting point. I want to support you in this. How would you answer the question that another person might ask if he or she were to challenge this point by saying such and such a thing?’’

 This is as simple as bringing up your point without bringing yourself on. With this, you are able to remove the personal attack angle even when you disagree. In fact you come across as caring and supportive of his views which help to ease out any pressure. The person who has to answer your question does not feel defensive or under attack by anyone in that meeting for he is defending his point of view to a person who is not present. This takes the pressure off of the individual and it enables him to answer your question along with you instead of against you.

Summary:

   In Summary, we need to take genuine efforts to make others feel valuable.  Even if you don’t achieve anything tangible, you can sleep knowing that you have made someone feel valuable. Awareness of what we can do is the first step to make others feel valuable.

 References: Input from Brian Tracy's seminars.