Be on time to your meetings.

Today, my uncle called me late in the evening to his desolate Juice shop. Not many people bought juice on winter evenings. It is not a simple juice shop though; they sold almost anything that people might buy, primarily he called it a juice shop, but it is far more than that. It is as if my uncle noted down what people asked him on a daily basis on a cigarette wrapper and stocked them the very next day without any question. The juice shop now sold candles, chocolates, and even tissue papers. Demand meets supply. He hates to say no to any customer.

  He also sold products that did not bring him much profit, but sales anyway. I asked him why he should fill space with low profit margin goods. He explained, “Selling a Cadbury’s Diary milk will hardly give me a rupee per piece, but I get a customer, and I sell that meaningless product hoping that next time he will buy the juice that has a ten rupee margin.”     

  Do we have a lesson here? Yes you bet. You don’t make a sale by selling your biggest product that your user has no use for. You make sales by selling the smaller things that the user needs at that instant. Over a period of time, when he really wants that big product, he will definitely choose you over your competitor. To be more precise, business is more about building relationships than about selling fruit juices.

  What are the implications of this lesson in our daily life?  Small things build trust. For example, being to a meeting on time builds trust. The meeting itself may not be that important, but sticking to the clock even on a meaningless meeting would turn out to be important in the long run. Once you have built that trust, you will be trusted with higher responsibilities that demands more trust and of course equivalent rewards. So better be on time to your meetings.

Made to stick - Review

  Not many books make you think, “Made to stick” made me think. It is as if the ideas in the book were pre dipped in super glue. As I read, they seamlessly attached themselves to my mind. The book is all about exploring the super glue that can stick our ideas in the fast moving world.

 Chip Heath and Dan Heath have put together a series of ideas to make your ideas stick. Of course this is not a get rich quickly, or success by thinking positive kind of book.

 What are the reasons behind good recall value of urban legends?  Can the reasons be used in real time to solve communication problems? According to the authors there are six things that constitute an idea that will stick. For instance all the urban legends would have at least satisfied four out of six components. Therefore the argument is, these components if used well can improve our communication.

For the authors, a sticky idea is that has at least few of the components from their formula of SUCCESS.

  S- Simple

  U-Unexpected

  C- Concrete

  C- Credible

  E- Emotional

  S-Stories

None of the components of their formula are new, and yet it needs a well written reminder to wake us out of abstract conversations. When a concept is abstract, it goes over our head.

A lot of parallel can be drawn to the “Competent Communicator” manual of Toastmasters International. Though they have never explicitly mentioned about the components to make ideas stick, the references are undeniable.

 For example, every Toastmasters Project encourages Simple themes and sentence constructions than roundabout and lengthy constructions. Surprise (Unexpected) is a component used to catch the attention of the audience, especially in the introduction of a speech. The term ‘vivid imagery’ is frequently used  which is equivalent to the Concrete word usage recommended by the book. Including Stories in your speech, especially stories with strong Emotion is one of the frequent evaluation points I received for my projects. I just did not know how to use them?

For me to use them, I had to know some well executed examples. I had to understand the patterns of ideas that are still making waves. I had to learn specific ways to include the components of SUCCESS in my life. The ideas had to be reiterated without boring anyone. All that is what “Made to stick” does. The book drives home the importance of each component of their SUCCESS formula by using the same formula to explain each component. Filled with fascinating researches, and deep insights, it is entertaining apart from the value add, just like a good Toastmasters speech.

So why read “Made to stick” if you already have the CC Manual from Toastmasters International? Because, this book is about creating simple concrete credible emotional stories with unexpected twist. Don’t you want to create such stories?

Here is the link to a mindmap of this book if you aren't patient enough to read the entire book. But this mind map is just an ordinary glue, you ought to read the entire book to know what is super glue. 

 http://drbakker.nl/made-to-stick-summary-mindmap/

Anguished English- Time to wear dirty clothes

  One of the funniest books I’ve ever read. Rightly subtitled ‘An anthology of accidental assaults upon our language ’, Anguished English is Richard Lederer’s collection of anecdotes and one liners from various facets of life. Wear old clothes while you read this book or even the excerpts in this article, you might dirty yourself rolling on the ground.

 Few of my favorites quips from Anguished English. They say, trying to dissect a joke is like dissecting a frog. It smells and the frog would probably be dead. So, I’m not attempting a dissection, but a commentary (in blue) to some delightful imagination.

Student bloopers from Anguished English:

 The below bloopers were performed by students with a different perspective on the World history. Just that they were blessed with an overworking imagination.

 The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. – Obviously the students thought that the Egyptians could build mountains by watering huge triangular cubes. I think the triangular cubes are one of the extinct shapes like the extinct bird dodo.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. - I always wanted to know the author of the bible. I wonder what circulated in the veins before the invention of circulation of blood. And Sir Francis Drake’s feat is definitely unique – an expert circumcision.

 Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.-  Probably why there are no apples in South India, too much of gravity too early.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present.- Did the musical composition create large number of children. He might have risen out of his grave to search the student who wrote this.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.-   Just another way to express death of great person.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign. – Such a genius. A genius is 99% imagination and 1% tomfoolery.

Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. – How did B.Franlkin ride a horse with loaves of bread beneath his arms? He must have been in a tight spot. Did he eat them?  We have lots of cats in Tamilnadu, why can’t somebody rub cats backward and generate electricity. Apart from electricity, that would generate jobs too. Thank God Franklin is still dead.

 How I wish someone would publish the Indian assault on English language.  That will be revenge for the pathetic display of Indian cricket team against the visiting England team. What would they title it, Inflamed English?

Any contribution towards the revenge is welcome. This is your chance to take that revenge against English.

The Mathematics of Depression

   How can NGO’s gain better attention from general public? Any appeal to support charity by explaining the mission and vision of your NGO is not going to work, on the other hand explaining the plight of an individual at your NGO might have much better impact.

  Imagine Pravin running an NGO for educating young and underprivileged kids. He has put his heart and soul into it, but he is in dire need for more fund to serve the community better. How many people do you think will come forward to provide fund or help him in any other way? How many complete strangers will come forward to help him? May be some. But what if he wants more people to join hands with him, how can he achieve that?

  Research says that acting on the emotions of human beings is the answer. A simple or very often used method is to talk about a specific person helped by the NGO, providing a very natural story of an underprivileged kid in the NGO for that matter. Jack Nicholson adopts the Tanzanian  Ndugu Umbo in the movie ‘About Schimdt’ after hearing the six year olds circumstances. Nicholson writes letters to him and sends his photo. The kid responds by sending him a beautiful scratchy pencil sketch of an old man holding hands with a young kid. Tear swells up in your eye when you see that, at that moment you want to support someone with all that you can. Unfortunately, the NGO’s wouldn’t know that you’ve just watched ‘About Schimdt.’, and you probably will not know how to go about helping a kid.

   Stories about individuals have high impact and inspiration quotient than stories about a group of people or abstract things.  What do you think will inspire people? The integrity of your NGO or a story about a young kid who has beaten the odds to survive. We care about individuals, not about masses. Masses distract us, and often mislead us. We want individuals to take decisions, what we need is story tellers at NGO, not just people who have the passion to give back to the community.

The original research:

  The research was conducted by appealing for fund to a charity in two different ways. The first group tried to persuade by speaking about how the NGO has been helping people for so many years, how clean their balance sheets are, and stressing the certifications given by Government authorities etc.  The second group persuasive technique was simple personal stories. They told stories about kids or senior citizens sheltered by them, not more than one story to a person. Stories that inspire.

 The results were obvious; the second group had much better impact. They were able to create interest in almost 70% of the people they met. Compare this with 30% the first group was able to attract among the people they met. A clear indication of how simple specific personal stories can be of great help in persuading people to act.

So what about Mathematics?

 The second group continued experiments to the next level. The next time they went to canvas participants to create interest in their organization, they did not tell stories straightaway. They gave simple math problems to solve. May be they could have even challenged the participants with a Sudoku. They told the same inspirational stories after the math problem, and the results this time were not so obvious. Less than 50% of the people they met were interested in Charity. A simple math problem reduced the impact of the story by a good 20 people for every hundred participants.

 What is happening here?

  The math problem had deep impact that made the participants switch to the analytical mode. Even while the emotional stories were being told, their minds were still in a state of “analytical inertia”. They were prone to think analytically than emotionally, and in turn the impact of the personal story went down drastically. This also explains why analytical people are generally misers.

What about depression?

 Depression is an emotional situation, a state where someone is unnaturally anxious or at the grip of any other emotion. You may be depressed because of fear, anger, love, disgust or any other strong feelings. In the modern world, we tend to get into the depression mode quite often. We mostly close our door to the outside world, some people go out the malls and open their purse to the outside world, and in some severe cases anti-depressants are the only way out. The result of the research could provide one of the simplest solutions to depression.

If doing a math problem can bring keep us in analytical inertia and stop us from acting emotionally, can doing a math problem when you are depressed bring down the emotional conflict in your mind?

Ok here are the numbers.

1. During the second part of the experiment, nearly half of the sample showed interest in charity; these people broke the analytical inertia and were able to connect emotionally to the personal stories.
2.  Even with stories, roughly one third of the group did not show interest in the first experiment. Let us not consider these people at all.
3.  One fifth of the sample was unable to get out from the analytical inertia, and this group had the highest impact on the results of the two experiments.

 Considering all this, the third group has a good chance of getting out of depression by doing a simple Sudoku than any other group. Even if one fifth of the population can shake themselves out of depression by doing a simple math problem, the world would be a better place, and less depressed place to live. 

Disclaimer: There was no research on correlation between depression and mathematics yet; it is just a theory I’m proposing here. Try this when you are depressed next time and let me know which category you belong to. And one more thing, I’m not legally or morally responsible for your depression or anything that you do in that state of mind.

Non Verbal cues are not important

   Last week, one of my friends at Chennai Speakers Forum Toastmasters presented her speech. I liked the confidence, the free flow of ideas, and the statistical tidbits of her speech.While she expounded on the various aspects on presenting an ‘Effective Presentation’, I was wondering about the numbers in her speech. 

           Your words 7%

               Your tone of voice 38%

               Your body language 55%

   She quoted researches confirming a popular phenomenon. Research says that for any speech or conversation or discussion, the meaning of the message is carried more by voice and body language than by the actual spoken words.

  For anyone who has been part of any communication group, this is not a news. That your body language and vocal variety is much more important than the content of your speech is an often repeated mantra. All along I had no qualms, but when presented in terms of numbers, it looked almost unbelievable, I wondered why words carried only 7% while we spend more than 70 % of the time writing those words for the speech. Is that even possible?

  How can someone explain such disparity? Though I agree that I’m much more impressed by Obama’s enthusiastic animated speech than Manmohan Singh’s dull recitation, I had difficulty in agreeing to the sheer insignificance assigned to words in a speech. The content may not be the king when it comes to a speech, but it is no worse than the soldier who faces the enemies up front with courage. 

  What was this research that gave such accurate numbers? How did they measure this? Thanks to the internet, my research was not as cumbersome as the research under question.

 Who did this research? Albert Mehrabian came up with this research in the late ‘60s, but there are few important points to note before confirming the direct implication of his research to a speech. Through a trail of search, I finally ended up at this site.

--Start of Excerpt^*--

The studies

Mehrabian and his colleagues were seeking to understand the relative impact of facial expressions and spoken words.

Study 1

In Mehrabian and Wiener, (1967), subjects listened to nine recorded words, three conveying liking (honey, dear and thanks), three conveying neutrality (maybe, really and oh) and three conveying disliking (don’t, brute and terrible).

The words were spoken with different tonalities and subjects were asked to guess the emotions behind the words as spoken. The experiment finding was that tone carried more meaning than the individual words themselves.

Study 2

In Mehrabian and Ferris (1967), subjects were asked to listen to a recording of a female saying the single word 'maybe' in three tones of voice to convey liking, neutrality and disliking.

The subjects were then shown photos of female faces with the same three emotions and were asked to guess the emotions in the recorded voices, the photos and both in combination.

The photos got more accurate responses than the voice, by a ratio of 3:2.

They cautiously note:

These findings regarding the relative contribution of the tonal component of a verbal message can be safely extended only to communication situations in which no additional information about the communicator-addressee relationship is available.

--End of Excerpt--

 Let us analyse his experiments with a speech in mind?

1) Mehrabian arrived at the ratio 7:38:55 through two independent experiments.
2) Mehrabian used only words, not a speech, not even a complete sentence for conducting this experiment.

  Can combing results of two complex experiments on human behavior sufficient to arrive at such a conclusion? Mehrabian’s disclaimers are proof enough to confirm that we cannot draw an accurate parallel from his research to any meaningful discussion between two human beings. If that is not enough, the research was done only using words, not complete meaningful sentences. 

   His research was probably tweaked by innovative coaches from speech training companies with honorable intentions; to stress the importance of voice and body language in speech. Or is it a clever marketing strategy to lure potential client to their company? With time more people accepted the misinterpretation of his theory? Why? Because any surprising statistic or fact tend to have high impact and better recall value. It has almost become the opening line of many presentation trainings, and as more people joined the bandwagon of 7:38:55, the misintrepreted theory has developed a credibility that will be very hard to break.  

   Of course, there is no denying the importance of voice and body language in any communication situation. They are as important as the words. But for a complete speech, a ratio of 33:33:34 makes much more sense than Mehrabian’s 7:38:55. Words cannot stand alone all the time, Mehrabian's research in itself is a perfect testimony to this fact.

  All this reminds of a Siddhuism, “Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.”After all Obama owes as much as to his catch phrase “Yes we can” to all the emotions he showed while making that historic speech. The title may be slightly misleading, but I know you wouldn't read if not for such controversial title. It is not too far away from the central idea of this article ; Non verbal cues are not as important as you thought them to be.

^*Excerpt on Mehrabian’s study: http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/body_language/mehrabian.htm

Think before you buy; you’ll thank me later

That's not my shopping bag!

  Have you ever thought about useless things filling up useful spaces in our homes? I’ve bought so many things, that I never use after painfully paying for it. I have a shoe that I’m ashamed of showing others, I have a t-shirt that only Salman Khan can carry it off, I have a water bottle that cost me more than a meal at Pasta Bar Venito. I’m sure every one of us is guilty of that splurge, the urge to spend on things that we don’t actually want. Here me out, you’ll thank me later.

  We shop when we are happy. We shop when we are depressed. Often, we end up buying a pair of shoe while our intention was to help a friend to buy a pair of sock.  That’s how I bought that shameful shoe. Shopping is fun. Fun things do not last, but they are very addictive. And fun does not mean happiness. Fun is momentary, but happiness is more lasting. If something is fun long after it happened, then it is definitely happiness. Is it fun to think about the time when you bought that shoe that you never use? No it is not; shopping does not make you happy. Shopping does not take you out of depression.  May be, put you in a deeper well of depression when you stare at your bank balance. Shopping is not an antidote for depression. You keep filling space in your house, and you keep adding guilt in your heart. It is a vicious circle, you buy things for instant joy, and then lose mind every instant over that.

   Now the innovations and improvement in technology has made it even worse. You don’t even have to step out of your room to buy a room full of nonsense. You open that slick site, click on those bright buttons, make payment, and viola you have it delivered the very next day. What do you do after the delivery? You open that package, and let that object catch cobwebs. Television, billboards, salesmen and everything around us are pitching their product every second.We are bombarded with information all around us. Aishwary Rai says ‘L’Oreal ,Because we are worth it?’  And another beautiful lady insists that, ‘It is not a car. It’s a caaar?’ A red bull promises wings. And another billboard screams “Galayx S3.Designed for humans?” What does that even mean?  Well, that means you are a goat, and a scapegoat at that. You are going to buy things you don’t want and you are going pay with money that you don’t have.

 We are all rational people, how do we end up falling for such traps. How can we put an end to this? What can we do to stop this carnage from sweeping our bank balance?  What is the one question that can change all this?  Don’t you want to know how you can stop spending money on things you don’t want? It is all about dealing with a devil called Instant gratification. Let’s call him I.G. What we need is a D.I.G , Disintegration of Instant Gratification.

 Just one question before you make that decision to swipe your card. “Can I live without this product  for now?  Is it the best my hard earned money can buy me? ” That solves it. It might seem simple, but how many of us ask such a sane question on your trip to shopping mall? Your answer to that question makes the decision for you. You may not be happy to make that hard decision. But you’ll thank me later.

  Remember there is nothing called as free lunch. There is nothing called as discounts.  You are entering a dangerous zone when you see that brightly lit red discount banner. Just like a fly, you die sooner when you fly around the light. That red banner is your light.  When you have a buying decision to make, remember the fly falling down, cramped and burned by the heat of the light. You’ll thank me later.

  Another handy strategy is to avoid carrying credit cards in your wallet. Handy because, you make yourself handicapped in front of the absurd marketing campaigns. You might think that Credit cards give you freedom, of course, that is exactly what the banks want you to think.You don’t want to pay 33% interest on late payment of thing you don’t want. Remember the number thirty three when you have to make that buying decision. You’ll thank me later.

  I’m not asking you to stop enjoying your life. I’m not asking you to stop buying what you need, I’m not asking you to stop buying what you like.  I’m asking you to start smart shopping. I'm asking you to not let the world decide what YOU want. All I’m asking is to think before you buy. Let’s vouch together to buy all the things we want, but only things what we really want. You’ll be at peace. You’ll be debt free. And you’ll thank me later.

Smart Drugs for smart people ?

   

   Around the world, it is not so uncommon to hear about athletes embroiled in drug scandals. Drug scandals sponsored by governments, drugs prescribed as a part of rehabilitation, and drugs forced on athletes by greedy coaches. It is all too common. The athlete is fined, debarred, stripped of his medals and almost isolated from the very sporting fraternity that he had grown up with. But what about us?  What about normal people taking cognitive enhancement drugs? Why is this not curbed? How many of us even know that students of high profile colleges live with a dose of cognitive enhancement drugs every day?

  Cognitive enhancements are prescriptions usually taken to treat Attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder. Drugs are not supposed to be used unless you have certain diagnosis, but Cognitive enhancements are widely used by normal people to improve their productivity. Imagine using drug to improve productivity in office, improve grades in college, and for anything that require mental alertness and sleep deprivation. The day is not far behind when such drugs would be as common as a strong cup of coffee to keep you awake on the day before the exam. Is this acceptable?

  Why have different yardsticks for different situations? If enhancing physical strength through drugs is an offense, so is enhancing mental strength through drugs.  If an athlete like Lance Armstrong^* can be punished for his alleged decisions on drugs, why not a top grader from an elite college? Should there be a drug test just before the exam?

  To give a little twist on the argument of enhancements in general, why should the idea of enhancement be seen as cheating or unnatural? Why can’t we see it as improving oneself knowing the consequences of the side effects?  What if everyone has free access to performance improving drugs? More like coffee, a stimulant, but not perceived as one because of the wide availability. As we evolve, we find more reasons and ways to run fast in this rat race of high performance and productivity. Smart drugs is just a speck of what the scientific world has in store for us. 

  After all why would smart people need smart drugs, aren't they smart already? Your thoughts on using such drugs are welcome.

 

   ^*Lance Armstrong, one of the big names whose influence went beyond cycling and Tour de France. He was a living example of inspiration, and resilience of the human species. We would never know the complete truth about the chain of events that led to his ouster, all we know is that his position in the history as an inspirational sportsman is now questionable. 

Choice

 I wonder how in the world we manage to procrastinate  things that are most important to us. We never do things that matter to us unless we are really pushed to the end of the world, a point where we think it is dangerous enough to turn back from what we really wanted to do. 

  We like to think ourselves as a victim of our environment, but the fact is that we always had a choice. A freedom to choose between what you really want and what came your way ? 

  Every time we chose an option that we thought would do us little harm compared to the other choices. The lesser of the evils. You will pay for your choice,it doesn't matter what you chose. May be it would've been better if we had opted the other option in the first place, who knows? 

  There are no right choices, you will have problems and other priorities to worry about for every choice you make. It wouldn't mean that you'd been happy and without worries had you opted the one you didn't choose. 

  So what to do we do ?I think it is always good to believe in our sense of decision and assure yourself that whatever you chose was the best for you, and think it was the best not because that it made us happy, but it pushed us into a world that otherwise would 've been hidden forever.

How to make others feel more valuable in any situation?

What do you gain by making others feel more valuable, after all we live for ourselves and not for others. We live in a world where favors are constantly exchanged, and if you want to get things done, you need to value others. Even a small act of persuasion becomes much more powerful when you value the people you are persuading.

 The moot point in making others feel more valuable is to help them feel better by allowing their self-esteem to scale high.  Making others valuable is making them feel better about themselves.

Here is the list of three things to make others feel more valuable at work and at social situations.

 Acknowledge the person

     Acknowledge the person by accepting the person in your own little group. Make it clear that the person is part of an exclusive group. In general take effort to ease out any friction by making them feel welcome. Three things that can help us to make a person welcome are,

Smile at them; look directly at them with warm eyes.

Pay attention when they speak, and spend time to answer their questions clearly.

Most importantly do not interrupt when they speak.

When others feel that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, their self-esteem goes up.This makes the individual feel valuable and important.  People know when you are genuinely attentive, and when you are, this makes them to want to support you in things you believe in. But remember there is no substitute for showing genuine attention and care, you can’t run that fake attention face for long.

 Appreciate genuinely

  What is the simplest way to express appreciation? A simple and sincere thank you would do the job most of the time. You can thank people for anything, in fact, thanking for minor acts actually makes people feel even better. 

  When you appreciate small things, you come across as observant and caring. People know that even their tiny acts to help your cause would be appreciated, and they would be more than willing to give you a hand in moving up. Because they know that they will move up along with you. Of course you can’t keep this up if you appreciate for the sake of appreciation, being genuine is the way to move forward.

    Appreciate small things sincerely

    Effective appreciation is both immediate and specific

    

  When we thank someone, it in turn encourages that person to repeat the behavior and to make better contributions next time. It raises their self-esteem and increases your likeability in their eyes. A simple thank you is powerful tool in building your likeability and ensuring that other cooperate with you and support what you believe in.

  An effective appreciation is both immediate and specific.  Instead of “Thank you”, tell them “Thank you for volunteering.” , and make your appreciation immediate to have that lasting effect.

Agree even when you disagree:

    The toughest part of making others valuable is to agree with them on everything even if you don’t agree. Appalling? Why would one agree when you actually disagree? Yes you can be agreeable even if you disagree with someone’s point of view.  To keep the ever menacing ego out of the picture, keep in mind that you are against the point of view of the person and not against the person in view.

  When you don’t agree with a point proposed by someone, 

first thing to remember is to remain calm and not to disagree straightaway.  Disagreeing straightway is like challenging him for a duel of angry outburst or dreadful silence that can leave sour taste at the end of it.  Disagreeing makes the person defensive, and reduces the chances of reaching a consensus. We don’t want that.

  The famous motivational speaker Brian Tracy explains an excellent technique called Third-Party Disagreement to disagree without disagreeing.

 If you must disagree, Instead of saying, ‘‘I disagree with you,’’ you can say, ‘‘ That is an interesting point. I want to support you in this. How would you answer the question that another person might ask if he or she were to challenge this point by saying such and such a thing?’’

 This is as simple as bringing up your point without bringing yourself on. With this, you are able to remove the personal attack angle even when you disagree. In fact you come across as caring and supportive of his views which help to ease out any pressure. The person who has to answer your question does not feel defensive or under attack by anyone in that meeting for he is defending his point of view to a person who is not present. This takes the pressure off of the individual and it enables him to answer your question along with you instead of against you.

Summary:

   In Summary, we need to take genuine efforts to make others feel valuable.  Even if you don’t achieve anything tangible, you can sleep knowing that you have made someone feel valuable. Awareness of what we can do is the first step to make others feel valuable.

 References: Input from Brian Tracy's seminars.

A way to get what you want

I want to get things done. How can I go about to achieve that?

Think about this situation for a moment.

  Imagine that you are the owner of a mobile company.  You are selling a mobile for Rs 15,000 (Model M), and a lower end model for Rs 8000 (Model L). Both the models have comparable features, but of course there are more limitations on the lower model.

  The sale of Model L (Low-end) is very steady, but the sale of is M (Mid-Level) is dipping every quarter. What is the best way to boost the sale of the Mid-Level model?  The answer might be surprising but it is a very effective one.

   The answer is to introduce a new comparable high end Model (Model H) for say Rs 19000. A high end product will probably meet needs of only small portion of the market, and there for you will make lower sales. But introduction of a high end model serves a greater purpose; a high end product actually increases the sales of a mid-level product. (Model  M)

How does this happen?

     Two weeks ago, my father lost his mobile, and we went to a showroom to buy a new one. The sales man immediately showed us three mobiles of same brand with comparable features. Just like the three models above.

High end -Model  H for Rs.19000

Mid-Level- Model M for Rs.15000

Lower end -Model L for Rs.8500

Now what do you think we chose? As any average customer, we chose the mid-level model M considering a compromise between cost and quality. What if there was no Model H, the high end model? There is a good chance that we would have gone for the Model L instead of Model M in the absence of Model H.

 Most of the average consumers arrive at a decision after prolonged comparison with next higher model and the next lower model. Most of us will choose the middle one as a compromise on cost and quality.  There might be a few who are inclined more towards the cost attribute, they will probably buy the lower model and those who are obsessed with quality will go on to pay for the higher end model. 

  Knowing that the average customer will go for the mid-level product, a good strategy can define what your mid-level model is. And you can sell more of what you actually want to sell.

  

  Having a high end product actually boosts sale of a middle or lower end product because of the price difference.  The lesson here is not to stop selling your high end premium product just because you are not making enough sales. If you drop that of your product list, you might end up going further down in sales by losing business on your mid-level product as well.

 

So what's in it for me? I'm not a mobile seller.

  A Very straightforward and often used every day tactic is behind all this. Unconsciously, we use it to get our things done. Awareness of this technique can help us to create a plans to get what you want in tough situations.

   If you want to get something done, construct a set of alternatives around your favorite option, a better one and not so appealing one. With two new options covering your favorite option, the chances of getting your favorite option increases multifold in comparison with just asking for what you want.

  You might not end up with what you were looking for all the time. But at least close enough most of the time.

Reference: Yes! ( Authors: N.J Goldstein, S.J Martin, R.B.Cialdini)

King and subject

Samuel Johnson once boasted to his drinking companions that he could instantaneously compose a pun on any subject.

 "The King," someone volunteered.

Johnson replied, "The King, sir, is not a subject."

Exceptional humor is the by product of simple surprise. Finding different meanings for the same word is a way to bring out that surprise. Here it is elegantly done by using the two different meanings of the word subject. 

Here's another one I heard somewhere,

We call our maid a commercial cleaner. Not the way you think but because she cleans only during commercials.

Good technique. Of course it is never easy to come up with original gags with just theoretical knowledge. Let me try to come up with one of my own. :)

Insurance agent

What is the worst thing that can happen to you at a funeral?

 Sense of loss, fear of death, deep depression? No. The worst thing that can happen to you at a funeral is - you meet an insurance agent.

Impeccably dressed in a green t-shirt and pink lungi with floral prints, the insurance agent walked up to me and said, ‘What an unfortunate day, it was so sudden. This can happen to anyone. That is why I urge everyone to take insurance and live in peace.’   

‘It wasn’t sudden. The dead man was ninety seven years old and bedridden for nine months.’ I thought.

Welcome to the world of Insurance agents.

On that funeral day, I endured his persuasion. I endured his pink color lungi with floral prints. His brochure could not allure to me to his obscure assured income and insurance schemes. Every scheme assured income –income to the insurance agent.

He had book in his hand, neatly covered with brown paper. I inquired, ‘What’s this book about? And why is it covered?’

‘Big secret. I don’t let other people know about what I’m reading. ’ He opened that book and showed it to me. It was a Malayalam version of Shiv Khera’s You can Win. 

‘I know this book, but the English version,’ I told him proudly.

‘These Americans, they are so quick. They have already translated it into English. That is why they win more medals than us in the Olympics,’ more explanation on worldly affairs.

‘I have a test tomorrow, I have to prepare,’ I said in an effort to escape further embarrassment.

‘Oh I had tests when I was in school, and they were all surprise tests.’

‘And then?’ I asked.

‘Well. I was surprised’

‘I’m not surprised that you were surprised,' I thought.

‘You don’t want to be surprised in life. Would you? I have a scheme that can help you cut taxes, save money and ensure peace for your family. ’

 ‘Don’t have to study! Well prepared opening bait. Caught the attention of the audience, and your victim in particular,’ the evaluators might say.

Few minutes later, I signed the dotted line - Insured for five lakhs. Coming to think about it, I will never see that money. Now I realize that I actually signed it not for the money but for peace of mind it offered.  -A peaceful life without Insurance agents bugging me.

How do you handle such insurance agents?  After a lot of research, I’ve found out a few ways to tackle insurance agents.

Now the first way is:

  Ask him to join a Multi level marketing meeting conducted by a friend. We all have such friends somewhere. The Agent will join the Multi level marketing scam and become insanely rich or completely insane that he will never sell insurance again.’  Just what you want, you have helped the world to become a better place to live with one less insurance agent.

The next way is asking questions like my cousin did.

My twelve year old cousin walked up to our dear agent and asked, ‘I’ve a coin, Can I insure that?’

‘Oh yes, Rihana’s insured her thighs why can’t you insure your coins?  Btw, how much is the coin worth?’

‘About a crore,’.

‘What a lottery? You have come to the right person.’

‘Yes it is a lottery,’ My cousin produced a twenty paisa coin from his pocket. ‘It might be worth a crore if you use it to scratch a lottery.’

A word of caution: Unless you are a cute twelve year old, insure yourself in case the agent has weak sense of humor. You might end up as the weak one in a hospital. Humor is the best medicine, Sarcasm is even better. But you can’t treat broken ribs with humor and sarcasm.