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Saturday, September 22, 2012

How to make others feel more valuable in any situation?



What do you gain by making others feel more valuable, after all we live for ourselves and not for others. We live in a world where favors are constantly exchanged, and if you want to get things done, you need to value others. Even a small act of persuasion becomes much more powerful when you value the people you are persuading.

 The moot point in making others feel more valuable is to help them feel better by allowing their self-esteem to scale high.  Making others valuable is making them feel better about themselves.

Here is the list of three things to make others feel more valuable at work and at social situations.

 Acknowledge the person

     Acknowledge the person by accepting the person in your own little group. Make it clear that the person is part of an exclusive group. In general take effort to ease out any friction by making them feel welcome. Three things that can help us to make a person welcome are,

Smile at them; look directly at them with warm eyes.
Pay attention when they speak, and spend time to answer their questions clearly.
Most importantly do not interrupt when they speak.

When others feel that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, their self-esteem goes up.This makes the individual feel valuable and important.  People know when you are genuinely attentive, and when you are, this makes them to want to support you in things you believe in. But remember there is no substitute for showing genuine attention and care, you can’t run that fake attention face for long.

 Appreciate genuinely

  What is the simplest way to express appreciation? A simple and sincere thank you would do the job most of the time. You can thank people for anything, in fact, thanking for minor acts actually makes people feel even better. 

  When you appreciate small things, you come across as observant and caring. People know that even their tiny acts to help your cause would be appreciated, and they would be more than willing to give you a hand in moving up. Because they know that they will move up along with you. Of course you can’t keep this up if you appreciate for the sake of appreciation, being genuine is the way to move forward.

    Appreciate small things sincerely
    Effective appreciation is both immediate and specific
    
  When we thank someone, it in turn encourages that person to repeat the behavior and to make better contributions next time. It raises their self-esteem and increases your likeability in their eyes. A simple thank you is powerful tool in building your likeability and ensuring that other cooperate with you and support what you believe in.

  An effective appreciation is both immediate and specific.  Instead of “Thank you”, tell them “Thank you for volunteering.” , and make your appreciation immediate to have that lasting effect.

Agree even when you disagree:

    The toughest part of making others valuable is to agree with them on everything even if you don’t agree. Appalling? Why would one agree when you actually disagree? Yes you can be agreeable even if you disagree with someone’s point of view.  To keep the ever menacing ego out of the picture, keep in mind that you are against the point of view of the person and not against the person in view.

  When you don’t agree with a point proposed by someone, 
first thing to remember is to remain calm and not to disagree straightaway.  Disagreeing straightway is like challenging him for a duel of angry outburst or dreadful silence that can leave sour taste at the end of it.  Disagreeing makes the person defensive, and reduces the chances of reaching a consensus. We don’t want that.

  The famous motivational speaker Brian Tracy explains an excellent technique called Third-Party Disagreement to disagree without disagreeing.

 If you must disagree, Instead of saying, ‘‘I disagree with you,’’ you can say, ‘‘ That is an interesting point. I want to support you in this. How would you answer the question that another person might ask if he or she were to challenge this point by saying such and such a thing?’’

 This is as simple as bringing up your point without bringing yourself on. With this, you are able to remove the personal attack angle even when you disagree. In fact you come across as caring and supportive of his views which help to ease out any pressure. The person who has to answer your question does not feel defensive or under attack by anyone in that meeting for he is defending his point of view to a person who is not present. This takes the pressure off of the individual and it enables him to answer your question along with you instead of against you.


Summary:

   In Summary, we need to take genuine efforts to make others feel valuable.  Even if you don’t achieve anything tangible, you can sleep knowing that you have made someone feel valuable. Awareness of what we can do is the first step to make others feel valuable.


 References: Input from Brian Tracy's seminars.



Saturday, September 15, 2012

A way to get what you want


I want to get things done. How can I go about to achieve that?

Think about this situation for a moment.

  Imagine that you are the owner of a mobile company.  You are selling a mobile for Rs 15,000 (Model M), and a lower end model for Rs 8000 (Model L). Both the models have comparable features, but of course there are more limitations on the lower model.

  The sale of Model L (Low-end) is very steady, but the sale of is M (Mid-Level) is dipping every quarter. What is the best way to boost the sale of the Mid-Level model?  The answer might be surprising but it is a very effective one.

   The answer is to introduce a new comparable high end Model (Model H) for say Rs 19000. A high end product will probably meet needs of only small portion of the market, and there for you will make lower sales. But introduction of a high end model serves a greater purpose; a high end product actually increases the sales of a mid-level product. (Model  M)

How does this happen?

     Two weeks ago, my father lost his mobile, and we went to a showroom to buy a new one. The sales man immediately showed us three mobiles of same brand with comparable features. Just like the three models above.

High end -Model  H for Rs.19000
Mid-Level- Model M for Rs.15000
Lower end -Model L for Rs.8500

Now what do you think we chose? As any average customer, we chose the mid-level model M considering a compromise between cost and quality. What if there was no Model H, the high end model? There is a good chance that we would have gone for the Model L instead of Model M in the absence of Model H.

 Most of the average consumers arrive at a decision after prolonged comparison with next higher model and the next lower model. Most of us will choose the middle one as a compromise on cost and quality.  There might be a few who are inclined more towards the cost attribute, they will probably buy the lower model and those who are obsessed with quality will go on to pay for the higher end model. 

  Knowing that the average customer will go for the mid-level product, a good strategy can define what your mid-level model is. And you can sell more of what you actually want to sell.
  
  Having a high end product actually boosts sale of a middle or lower end product because of the price difference.  The lesson here is not to stop selling your high end premium product just because you are not making enough sales. If you drop that of your product list, you might end up going further down in sales by losing business on your mid-level product as well.

 
So what's in it for me? I'm not a mobile seller.

  A Very straightforward and often used every day tactic is behind all this. Unconsciously, we use it to get our things done. Awareness of this technique can help us to create a plans to get what you want in tough situations.

   If you want to get something done, construct a set of alternatives around your favorite option, a better one and not so appealing one. With two new options covering your favorite option, the chances of getting your favorite option increases multifold in comparison with just asking for what you want.

  You might not end up with what you were looking for all the time. But at least close enough most of the time.

Reference: Yes! ( Authors: N.J Goldstein, S.J Martin, R.B.Cialdini)



Sunday, September 09, 2012

King and subject




Samuel Johnson once boasted to his drinking companions that he could instantaneously compose a pun on any subject.
 "The King," someone volunteered.
Johnson replied, "The King, sir, is not a subject."

Exceptional humor is the by product of simple surprise. Finding different meanings for the same word is a way to bring out that surprise. Here it is elegantly done by using the two different meanings of the word subject. 

Here's another one I heard somewhere,

We call our maid a commercial cleaner. Not the way you think but because she cleans only during commercials.

Good technique. Of course it is never easy to come up with original gags with just theoretical knowledge. Let me try to come up with one of my own. :)


Sunday, September 02, 2012

Insurance agent


What is the worst thing that can happen to you at a funeral?

 Sense of loss, fear of death, deep depression? No. The worst thing that can happen to you at a funeral is - you meet an insurance agent.

Impeccably dressed in a green t-shirt and pink lungi with floral prints, the insurance agent walked up to me and said, ‘What an unfortunate day, it was so sudden. This can happen to anyone. That is why I urge everyone to take insurance and live in peace.’   

‘It wasn’t sudden. The dead man was ninety seven years old and bedridden for nine months.’ I thought.

Welcome to the world of Insurance agents.

On that funeral day, I endured his persuasion. I endured his pink color lungi with floral prints. His brochure could not allure to me to his obscure assured income and insurance schemes. Every scheme assured income –income to the insurance agent.

He had book in his hand, neatly covered with brown paper. I inquired, ‘What’s this book about? And why is it covered?’

‘Big secret. I don’t let other people know about what I’m reading. ’ He opened that book and showed it to me. It was a Malayalam version of Shiv Khera’s You can Win. 

‘I know this book, but the English version,’ I told him proudly.

These Americans, they are so quick. They have already translated it into English. That is why they win more medals than us in the Olympics,’ more explanation on worldly affairs.

‘I have a test tomorrow, I have to prepare,’ I said in an effort to escape further embarrassment.

‘Oh I had tests when I was in school, and they were all surprise tests.’

‘And then?’ I asked.

‘Well. I was surprised’

‘I’m not surprised that you were surprised,' I thought.

‘You don’t want to be surprised in life. Would you? I have a scheme that can help you cut taxes, save money and ensure peace for your family. ’

 ‘Don’t have to study! Well prepared opening bait. Caught the attention of the audience, and your victim in particular,’ the evaluators might say.

Few minutes later, I signed the dotted line - Insured for five lakhs. Coming to think about it, I will never see that money. Now I realize that I actually signed it not for the money but for peace of mind it offered.  -A peaceful life without Insurance agents bugging me.

How do you handle such insurance agents?  After a lot of research, I’ve found out a few ways to tackle insurance agents.

Now the first way is:
  Ask him to join a Multi level marketing meeting conducted by a friend. We all have such friends somewhere. The Agent will join the Multi level marketing scam and become insanely rich or completely insane that he will never sell insurance again.’  Just what you want, you have helped the world to become a better place to live with one less insurance agent.

The next way is asking questions like my cousin did.

My twelve year old cousin walked up to our dear agent and asked, ‘I’ve a coin, Can I insure that?’

‘Oh yes, Rihana’s insured her thighs why can’t you insure your coins?  Btw, how much is the coin worth?’
‘About a crore,’.
‘What a lottery? You have come to the right person.’
‘Yes it is a lottery,’ My cousin produced a twenty paisa coin from his pocket. ‘It might be worth a crore if you use it to scratch a lottery.’

A word of caution: Unless you are a cute twelve year old, insure yourself in case the agent has weak sense of humor. You might end up as the weak one in a hospital. Humor is the best medicine, Sarcasm is even better. But you can’t treat broken ribs with humor and sarcasm.